Of these, only 46% say they are completely heterosexual and 6% as completely homosexual.”Īll of this is to say that things, apparently, may be changing. “The results for 18-24-year-olds are particularly striking, as 43% place themselves in the non-binary area between 1 and 5 and 52% place themselves at one end or the other. It’s worth noting that in 2015, the folks at YouGov.UK conducted a fascinating survey where British people placed themselves on the scale. And while things are changing, we’re still not at a place where transparency about attraction is the norm. It’s not like we’re going to tell our best buddy after a fist-bump that we are attracted to them, right?īut just because we aren’t mentioning these attractions doesn’t mean they don’t exist. In “bro-code”, guys don’t talk about such things. I guess my point in bringing all of this up is to encourage you to rethink some of the labels we’ve grown accustomed to as men. There are online assessments you can take to help make a determination. Obviously, I can’t make a placement for you. So, what does all this mean for you? While it is hard to know, it sounds like you may fall somewhere between numbers 2 and 1 on the scale. X | No socio-sexual contacts or reactions KINSEY SCALEġ | Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexualĢ | Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexualĤ | Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexualĥ | Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual
Here is the actual scale, taken directly from the Kinsey Institute. Developed in 1948 by American biologist Alfred Kinsey, the scale was designed to illustrate a range of sexual orientation. What I have just described to you is the Kinsey Scale. On the other end of the spectrum is man who is exclusively homosexual. On one end of that spectrum is a guy who is exclusively heterosexual. Yes, you may have been taught to think of “straight” and “gay” in black and white terms but for our purposes, try to envision a scale. I’d like you to think of sexual orientation as being on a spectrum. They may gravitate towards the ladies but that doesn’t mean they are devoid of any attractions towards the same sex. As you tried to push him out of your mind, his imagery only came back stronger.ĭoes any of this sound familiar? If the answer is yes, you wouldn’t be alone. Maybe you woke up in the morning with him on your mind, with a stiffness in your boxers that caused confusion.Īnd then, as you mentioned, he crept into your thoughts while making love to your wife.
To complicate matters, he started creeping into your thoughts. All of this served as a kind of bonding experience a moment where the both of you could be vulnerable to one another.Īt some point, you realized the excitement you felt upon seeing him felt different – more than just the typical feeling two friends feel when running into each other. In turn, you shared personal details about your situation, including being married to a woman and having a child.
He talked about his life, including being gay, and was completely open about everything.
In turn, you offered to spot him.Īs time went on, the two of you would bump into one another at the gym and became workout buddies. An attractive guy decided to jump in and help you out. You probably were working out at your gym, doing some random exercises and at some point, realized you needed a spotter. My sense is that you didn’t plan on any of this. We’re going to get into the nuts and bolts of that in a bit, but I want to first address the realities of what you are dealing with. Simply put, the term “straight” is subjective at best. If that sounds like a complicated answer, that’s because it is. In fact, a straight man can fall in love with another man, period. The simple answer to what you have asked is yes, a straight man can fall in love with a gay man. You have a lot going on and so I’ll try to respond to your question as best as I can. I can imagine sending this note was not easy and that it required a lot of courage to write all of this out in the first place.